I know that a lot of people thought there was something suspicious about the Presidential election, and a lot of wiseass comments have been made about me not really being the President. Well, a bunch of newspapers did a systematic recount of all the ballots, and they have published their results.
Yes, if you count all the chads, even the so-called "dimpled chads", Mr Gore won by 107 votes. But if you require at least one corner detached to count it as a vote, which was the prevailing standard at the time, Mr Gore only won by 60 votes. And if you require more than one dimpled chad on a ballot before you'll count dimpled chads, he only won by 42 votes. If you count only the chads where two corners were detached, Mr Gore won by 105 votes; but obviously that's too picky a requirement. If you take the county results instead, for the counties who completed a hand recount, Mr Gore won by 171 votes.
But what's important is that if you count only the counties where the Gore team demanded a recount, I still win. And if you don't count any of the disputed votes at all, I still win. So I'm the President. The people have spoken. Or at least, some of them have.
Obviously the Liberal media have been conspiring to keep this out of the news. The Washington Post said "Florida Recounts Would Have Favored Bush", and CNN said "Bush would still have been elected president".